Musings of an Avid Dreamer

Some words are meant just for me and some are not. So many notebooks and blank pages of sorts. I have a binder of yoga materials, an A4 notebook from my class with notes, and a couple of black books, thrown in with a few others. A journal for my yoga practice, a black book of ideas, a book of thoughts, blank pages and a giant art book yet to be used. Each one has a different purpose and it reminds me how much I love books and stationary and what they represent or the potential of what they could be. 

For the most part, they are just words. However, a word on paper is more real than one that exists only in my head. In there, they get lost. On paper, I am reminded.

So my coffee breaks have become my little brain dump. Well, they will become. 

Love Always, Paris.

Sunday and Aperitif hour in Paris on the typical pavement tables of the popular Les editeurs in Saint germain. My 'pamplemousse fraise' has just been delivered in a tall glass, half full. The price of prime real estate and pavements in Paris.

Beautiful Paris in Autumn with what felt more like a summer's day with bare legs, Berthillion ice cream, a full picnic of

Mousse de canard, du fromage, jambon, poulet, crevettes et baguettes in the beautiful grounds of the Jardin du Luxembourg. Before lying on the observation deck on the top of the Montparnasse Tower and enjoying our black sesame eclair and matcha and salted caramel tart from Sadaharu Aoki. Here you are presented with the panorama of the pyramids of Paris streets and the view of the Eiffel Tower and other monuments. The Top of the Rock of Paris. 

A certain something something about this city, the ease and simple and effortless elegance of its inhabitants, the sexy French language, the fresh produce markets, people watching and wine drinking, baguette et fromage eating culture that make it so addictive. The authentic Vietnamese food an added bonus. Like any additiction, you keep wanting to come back for more. 

People watching, eaves dropping on conversations, or rather just enjoying the accent and interactions. A girl from Hong Kong is studying French and talking about how the Paris way of life was alot nicer, greener than what she was used to. She had now met her boyfriend'a parents and was to meet the grandparents, but he has yet to propose. She was having pho with what appeared to be a new Parisian friend at Pho14 in District 13 and we were sat on the cosy neighbouring table.

The very mixed group of people next to us at Les editeurs, writing in their notebooks for what appears to be a business meeting of sorts. One guy now sporting a large bottle of champagne. A celebration peut-etre? 

The guy outside Merci asking if we were lost. No, we said; shame, he said - for it would have given him a reason to speak with us. Still, he persisted, suave. Well, where are your boyfriends...for, if you were my girlfriend, I would not let you travel to Paris without me. He sounds possessive. Ah, but life is unfair (in an almost sing song voice). It is, for we were not lost in lust with his grey track pants. We understood.

I want to live here for a short time and practice my infant French. To be able to say more than 'is it possible to get a small slice of the Beaufort cheese?' (which, btw I was quite happy to be able to string together!). I want more. I also want the Brie and the Camembert and the Brillat-savarin (yum!). I want to stay around the Luxembourg gardens and go for morning runs, before picking up groceries from Rue Mouffetard, where my Dose of coffee is good and the barista who makes it is cute. I will then read and write on my Juliet balcony or one of the plentiful cafes as I sip my glass of red. An over simplistic view of what it means to live in Paris! 

Yes, I can do these things in London, for the parks and coffee shops And wine bars on offer. It might just be a tiny bit weird to ask for things in French.

So why Paris, what is it about you. Each time I visit, there is a new street, market, area or side to be seen. There is always the beauty of touristy Paris along the Seine, as well as the charm of typical Parisian streets with its plentiful boulangeries and colours. Some new pages and some repeated chapters to a never ending book which is read over. It never gets old. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Paris, I will always love you. 

Observations of a Crowded Tube Journey

Waxed leather pants, big headphones and rather clumsily and haphazardly  steps a girl tangled in her headphones. She untangles her headphones from the pole, tries to cool herself down and settles into reading her book titled 'wine, wealth and the state in late antique Egypt'. She reminded me of the an older version of the girl in Hugh Grants About a Boy. The punk girl, that the young boy had a crush on.

Next to her is an African kid, again earphones in and his feet are tapping away with his green sneakers, on the crowded tube floor. A well dressed man in a suit beside him tries to move his feet away. He notices me looking and then I feel uncomfortable. An older gentleman steps on, he is wearing a black fedora like hat and a pink shirt and blazer (with trousers too).

I am observing, trying to be mindful and being conscious of it too. It is interesting what you normally miss as you have your music plugged in and gaze fixed at anywhere that isn't in someone else's line of sight for the fear of making eye contact in our contactless transport system. 

I for one know how catastrophic it feels to travel a journey without any music in tow and thoughts to follow. 

I'm reading a book. Well, I am reading a book, but also some readings, notes, materials and sometimes I am just reading my thoughts over. My yoga course is reinviting me into the realm of mindfulness, the study and application of this by the nature of what it is and means to be aware. Aware of your senses, your surroundings, your body and simply, (or not), aware of you. Who you are now. To switch off from the sufferings of the past and the angst of the future and to be present for brief moments and sustain this. It's definitely not easy. It's interesting though to observe the things you would normally miss in your routine. Observe, without analysing. I'm noticing more, I always hear and see but I don't always understand. Well maybe not entirely accurate! Anyway, I'm learning that I don't need to. There is plenty of grey matter in this world and not everything can be explained in words. So many words. So just observe for some brief moments and enjoy. 

For an already analytical mind, the analysing of being present and mindful is seemingly detracting from the philosophy of this notion! But. It was fun to look around at the many walks of life on a crowded tube. People that you would not encounter on your day to day and people that you have a chance to.

I find myself making an effort to engage in more conversations with random people of late. For curiosity's sake. An old lady in an antique shop, where did she get all her stock from. Turns out she was part Swedish and having an ageing aunt made numerous trips back home in the past few years and picked up a lot of things from her hometown, alongside with France travel for the flea markets. I felt I had something to contribute on this point and shared my favourite antique cities and markets in France. She wanted to talk more, she wanted to share her stories and I wanted to listen. Alas I have class. I promise I will be back. I wonder how many people actually visit her store and stay for awhile. 

The two random strangers at the 5 mile mark during the Royal Parks Half Marathon who asked me if I was on pace. Sure, I said, I have 7, no, 8 miles to go (who's counting). He had sore nipples and needed some Vaseline but he was on track. Made me laugh and forget about those miles as I carried on. 

The lady who stopped me as I was walking to paddington to ask if I had run the half marathon and congratulate me for doing so. It was such a simple gesture. 

I guess you never really know the impact of what you do on someone else's day. Small actions, gestures and conversations may be all that was needed to bring a smile to someone. 

So try it, look around and speak to people, you never know what interesting things you might find out, or prefer not to know. You never know what it could mean for them. Either way, you will likely learn something new or see something with fresh eyes. Or simply, you paying attention might have made their day.

Signing off,

Confessions of a thinkaholic/talkaholic

surrounded by words.